How to say no more often
🤷♀️ Most of us say yes way too often.
We say yes to commitments we didn't need to do in the first place. We say yes to meetings we didn't have to be in. We say yes to things that simply aren't a priority for us.
💁🏼 Sure, it's good to be helpful and be involved in everything.
🙅♀️ But, at what cost?
Saying yes to everything makes it hard for us to be in control of our time, stay focused on our priorities, do great work and keep sane! Saying 'no' more prevents us from stretching ourselves out too thinly and, ultimately, being unable to spend time on the things that matter to us or our careers.
✋ Wait...what's your point? To say no to everything?
No, it's to be more selective with what we say yes to.
The next time you're asked to do something, try to control that knee-jerk reaction we all have to say "Sure thing" and, instead, take a moment to think more critically about what you're saying yes to.
🤔 Think about it this way...
Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to everything else you could have done with the time instead.
🧘 What should you say yes to?
A simplistic framework is: Say yes to things that you want to do, things you have to do, things that get you closer to your goals, or things that are good opportunities. You should say no to most other things.
But, saying no is hard. How should you say no?
Of course, your messaging will change depending on who you're saying no to, but let's go through two approaches you can use in a professional environment.
🗣️ Say, "Okay, but what should I deprioritize?"
It's almost unthinkable to say no to someone senior to you at work. But, especially if you have too much on your plate, it's your responsibility to say no so the quality of your work isn't affected.
Let them understand it's a tradeoff. Use this:
“Sure, I’m happy to make this the priority. Which of these other projects should I deprioritize to pay attention to this new project?” (Source)
🔑 Say no, but offer an alternative.
It's easier to say no if you offer an alternative. Simple examples:
- "I can't make the call, but feel free to send me the key outputs to keep me posted."
- "I can't do it, but it might be worth talking to X."
If you can't get out of something completely, try to simplify the task for you. For example, suggest an email, instead of Zoom:
- "My schedule has been crazy lately, and these days, email is usually a lot easier for me. If you had some specific questions, could you send them on email? I’ll do my best to answer them when I have some downtime."
👔 This improves your ability to prioritize. Being able to know and prioritize what's important is a skill you need to develop. Choosing what to say yes or no to, on a regular basis, builds that muscle.
💬 It's something all great leaders do well. I'll end with this Steve Jobs quote:
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other things that there are. You have to pick carefully."
👉 What did you think of this piece? If you found it useful, let me know (a super short reply would do). This is different to what I usually cover, but hopefully it resonates with someone out there.
